Pie, the new Flaming Monkeys
by Zoomi
Summary: I was crazy, eatin’ me some honey while I wrote this tho I haven’t even opened the honey jar. This exotic moment was brought to u by KY jelly, lube it up! HPDM,AU,Slash!


**This is Red, I have taken over Zoomi's thing for a moment to put up a random fic that is my version of her fic, which is incomplete at the moment. Psycho, I know, but it's fun.**

AN: I was crazy, eatin' me some honey while I wrote this (tho I haven't even opened the honey jar). This exotic moment was brought to u by KY jelly, lube it up!

Disclaimer: The flaming monkeys r not mine! Neither are the HP chars! JK's, they are her creations, her children, her -- (sorry Zoomi, I'll stop)

Enjoy!

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It was a beautiful day in the dark dank halls of Hogwarts. The sun was shining outside, and within the castle the torture of young students continued as it had for centuries upon centuries.

Two students were not where they were supposed to be though. (they were probably ditching class, I mean, who doesn't?)

They were _supposed_ to be in Potions, where Snape's evil plan was meant to commence, but hey, we all have our off days. Snape would just have to wait for another day to curse the two -- coughs I mean to make fruit punch.

Anyway, the two students were walking (or skipping in some cases) down the halls which were sunny, yet not. (so maybe like kinda cloudy? Or something…)

Suddenly Draco spied the effeminate looking Harry and gasped. _Is that Potter? Or do my eyes deceive me? _

"Potter!"

The girly boy turned and Draco smirked, it _was_ Potter. The Gryffindor stopped and turned in question, only one person referred to him by his surname.

"_Malfoy_," Harry hissed.

Draco walked by and knocked Harry's folder out of his hand, scattering papers and books onto the ground. (AN: just like Mr. McKinley does) (inside joke) (u know who I'm talking about Zoomi)

"What was that for you bloody prick?" Harry scowled as he bent over to pick up his scattered books, clearly showing his bum. (AN: shut up (again, if u look down) Zoomi)

"Why, Potter, I knew you were a bottom boy, but you're practically throwing yourself at me now. Put your arse away before your precious redhead sees and blows his load."

"Shut it."

"Ouch, your scathing tongue wounds me."

"Ha ha," Harry rolled his eyes.

Draco smirked, "Don't be jealous of my mad skills, Potter."

"What mad skills would those be?"

A high pitched giggle was his reply, "Oh, I'll show you my mad skills, just you wait. You'll be blown away by their… um, madness."

"Right, try not to trip over your inflated ego, Malfoy. Any bigger and _I'll_ run into it," Harry began walking away.

"Don't walk away from me you- you- _girl_!"

Harry froze and slowly turned back toward the Slytherin, eyes cold and narrowed.

"_What_ did you call me?" he asked lowly.

Draco laughed, "I called you a sissy little girl! Ehehehe! That's what you are, Potter! I bet you take it up the arse too!"

(AN: Shut up Zoomi )

"Whatever!"

"You _do_, that's why you have no excuse! Wait until I tell everyone your dirty little secret."

Harry scowled, "The only secret I have is that I wear women's underwear… I mean, I have no secrets!"

"You wear women's panties?" Draco repeated, "Isn't that a bit kinky for a Gryffindor?"

"The Hat always told me I would do better in Slytherin," Harry said.

"Now you're having sex with _hats_, Potter?" Draco teased.

"I never said that!"

Draco grinned evilly, "That's not what my recording device says." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a… dildo.

"What the fuck is that!" Harry cried.

Draco looked down, eyes widening, "Shit, this isn't mine! I must've taken the wrong robe this morning!"

Harry narrowed his eyes, "I bet, who's the kinky one _now_, Malfoy?"

"It's not mine, I swear!" Draco argued.

"Look at me, I'm Draco Malfoy," Harry taunted, shaking his bum. "I like to shove huge, hard things up my arse!"

"Shut up, Potter!"

Draco turned away and ran down the hall crying like the girl he was (totally forgetting the dildo he had dropped) (though I didn't mention it before, he _did_ drop it). On his way around the corner he tripped and fell, he sent Harry a dirty look as he lifted himself and began running again.

"That's right, Malfoy, you better run!"

Harry smirked to himself, _I showed him._ He shifted his book bag (which was once a folder) and turned in the opposite direction Malfoy had taken. _Now it's time for some pie! _

His eyes became blurry with a sudden dizziness and he fell forward. His last thought was, _I want me some pie!_

(this moment was brought to you by pie, a delicious snack that you can eat in your spare time)

(also brought to u by, Zoomi, she does a body good.)

THE END

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AN: This was a random moment in Zoomi's fic (which at the moment does not exist) (so technically, doesn't it make it _my_ fic since I posted first?) She gave me permission to post it though, so there!

-Red


End file.
